Unsettling

Last night I found myself sitting alone in a dark theatre. It was packed with people excited to see the latest Batman movie, The Dark Knight. I was hoping to see the movie in OKC on Friday afternoon, but I opted to be social and be with some of my business partners instead. So this was the first chance I had to see the movie. A phone call from a friend confirmed that I needed to go last night. She had so many things she wanted to talk about the movie with me, so I just had to go see it. And I am glad that I did.

I have been a Christian Bale fan since Newsies back in 1992. And I think he makes the perfect Batman as he can balance that line between sanity and insanity so perfectly. This movie was no different. The way he fluxes back and forth between Batman & Bruce Wayne once again was superb.

But of course, the one who stole the show was Heath Ledger at The Joker. I was not at all prepared, even with what I had heard and read, for how he portrayed this character. In fact, I can't remember any other actor getting so lost in his character that you don't even realize who it is. I was absolutley in awe at his performance.

But the movie overall took my breath away. I was not prepared for how dark spirited the movie is. Truly, it made me feel unsettled. There were so many moments of pure evil that these characters battled. And the spiritual correlations are seemingly endless. Good vs. evil. Sacrifice of one for the good of many. Bad influence corrupting good character. Truly a human story at it's core.

I have thought back on the movie and the conversation with my friend that followed. All morning I have been mulling over everything that I saw and heard. And that is when I know that I have enjoyed a movie...when it sticks with me past the ride home.

My Weekend in OKC

When I first learned that our Managers Retreat for my business with Arbonne was moved to July in OKC, I groaned. I am not a fan of heat and humidity...and neither is my hair. But as I reflect back on the weekend, I am so glad that I went.

I haven't been very active with my business as of late, but know that there is still a place for Arbonne in my life. After this weekend, I am more convinced that I cannot give up on my business and that no matter if I work it full time or part time - I need to have this company in my life. It is filled with women who have become my sisters. It is a company so concerned with helping others acheive their dreams and goals...oh, and by the way, they make an incredible product to boot! I am more in love with evey aspect of this journey after this weekend.

But there were other 'ah-ha' moments for me this weekend personally.

Our team loves to have a good time. We are the team that when these events come up - we go out dancing or something at the end of each night. You won't find us by the pool or in our rooms - we are out. And that's one of the things I love about our team.

But I realized Satuday night that while I love to dance and I love to people watch, going to the dance clubs can be somewhat of a let-down. Sure, we had a blast dancing with our group - singing along to the music and enjoying a few drinks. But there inevitably reaches that point where the club becomes crowded, the dance floor filled with drunk people spilling drinks and bumping into you, and you get so hot you have to step outside to get some fresh air. When it gets to the point where it's too crowded to actually dance, or move, that's the point where I lose interest. I'm not there to drink, I'm not there to meet someone, I'm there to dance with my girls...And when that can't happen, then I start getting restless and looking for a way out.

But regardless of what happens, I'm always glad I went. I get to make memories with some of my best friends. Sayings happen that mean nothing to anyone else, but make us laugh all weekend long and for months to come.

Maybe it's just me...

Recently I received some DVD's and books in the mail from a ministry to preview and possibly use for our women's ministry. If we are interested we can buy them. If not, we just send them back. I'm always game to see what's out there, so I agreed. After watching them, I'm convinced that one of them is not for us. It seems to be a venue to sell the author's book. The other has potential.

Now, it's key to know that I am not a fan of women's ministry as I've seen it or been involved in my adult life. I have found that so often it focuses on how to be a better mom or better wife. And I'm neither. So what about the single woman. Well, then we get singled out and separated from our married friends. I've always thought there has to be a better way.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just a little critical. Maybe I'm just dissatisfied because my own spiritual deserts. I'm not sure. I don't think that's entirely the case.

What if we had women's ministry that was geared toward helping women dig deeper in to their relationship with God, and in the process, connect with other women at all stages of life? What if instead of ministry that tries to help you become a better mom or wife or girlfriend, you have a ministry that tries to help you gear your life toward the things of God. And then in the process your marriage and relationships with your kids and friends will start to improve.

I love reading books. I love reading "self-help" type of books. But my fear is that ministries over use these books. They are great to supplement a study on the Bible, but I have seen first hand these books replace the Bible. This scares me. When we base changes in our life based on someone elses words, Bible-based or not, I get worried. Use these books to flesh out or get you interested in changes in your life, but use the Bible and your relationship with Jesus to guide you in those changes.

And that's what I would love to see for women's ministry. Plain and simple, fleshing out life "stuff" using the Bible and Jesus to guide us.

I'm so crafty...

My parents both turn 60 this year. I can't believe it! So in honor of this occasion, the three of us kids are throwing them a birthday party in August. It's a simple backyard BBQ...but it should be so much fun. We are breaking out music from their HS years, and decorating with old LP's. I created bowls out of the old records. It was a fun little arts and crafts project. Take a look - I think they turned out pretty good. Should be a fun centerpiece with Chex Mix or white mums, don't you think?

It's all coming together

Last night I started reading a book called Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Excercise & the Brain by Dr. John J. Ratey. I have become facinated by this idea of how excercise effects our brains ever since April of this year. But as I read, I realized, I've been thinking about all of this for several years now.

The basic idea, as I've been able to gather from my one night of reading, is that science is showing how much excercise affects our brain functionality. Everything from improved learning, to improved mood can be linked to excercise.

About 4 years ago I participated in a 30 day fruit and vegetable fast. I lost 30 lbs. and felt great. What I learned through that experience was how deeply integrated are the spiritual, physical, and emotional aspects of our lives. I never felt closer in my realationship with Jesus, more energized, or emotionally stable at any time in my life before that 30 days. Since then, I've monitored this in my life. When I am physically not performing (i.e. tired or sick), often times spiritually I feel more disconnected. Or if I am feeling depressed or stressed, my physical side gets drained. When I'm kicking on all cylinders, when all three aspects are functioning well, then I am at my best.

Since April 3rd I have walked or worked out to some extent nearly every day. I have noticed not only that my clothes fit so much better (I don't own a scale therefore have no idea if I have lost weight), but overall I'm doing better. Even within the past couple of weeks as I am going through a tough situation, excercise has kept me going. The days I work out, I am in a better mood, more inclined to be in the Word and prayer. The days I don't work out, I find it harder to interact with friends, and prayer is the last thing on my mind. In fact, I have now started to go work out or go for a walk when all I want to do is sit at home. It has been so powerful for me.

Seeing how the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of my life all converge has been a fantastic experience. I look forward to exploring this concept more fully and seeing how this spills into all areas of my life in the future.

How about Austin?

This question, posed to me late last night over a plate of New York Cheesecake pancakes, brought a mixture of groans and laughter. My good friend Jennifer and I had settled into our booth at IHOP after catching the movie Hancock and satarted catching up on what was going on in each others world. We were discussing our feeling "stuck" in areas of our life and what we could do to get "un-stuck". We threw out ideas for a few minutes and then Jenn suggested moving to a different state. I thought San Diego, CA sounded good. She thought Austin, TX sounded good. Apparently it's the up and coming city for young single professionals.

The thought of moving to another state is not a new thought for me. But I have always said it would be for the right man or the right ministry - and probably both in order for me to leave Colorado. If I was sure that it would get me "un-stuck" I would be game. But I'm not sure that would help. The thoughts of moving usually come into mind when I think it would be easier to run from something than just stay and face it. Life is messy sometimes. But that's what makes it great. And right now, life is messy and life is great - all at the same time.

I don't see a move to Austin any time soon, for either Jenn or myself. But I am praying for changes in my life. Relationship changes, work changes, physical changes, and spiritual changes...and I'm working on them all. A work in progress, that's what we all are, right? Well, then I guess I'm right on track.

Just Relaxing

The past few days have been a bit odd for me. No grand adventures, though many small ones have found their way into my schedule. No big "ah-ha" moments with God. In fact, I haven't felt much like talking with God the past couple days. I've just spent time relaxing and sleeping. It seems that I've needed to do that for a while. My schedule leading up to the July 4th weekend was so busy at times, I barely kept my head above water.

Thursday I took off early and watched a bad Kate Hudson & Matthe McConaughey movie. Love them both, did not like this movie. Then at 5 I met up with my good friend Jim and some of his friends and we trekked up to Avon, CO to see the fireworks display there. After a 4 1/2 hour ride in the car (ugh...I-70 traffic!) and 35 minutes of fireworks, we turned around and came back down the mountain. But it was worth it...one of the best displays ever!

Somewhere along the way last week I lost my voice. The guys said I sounded like a man smoking a cigar. That's kind of how I began to feel by the end of the week as well. Yesterday I ran 4 miles (yeah! a new distance for me) and then spent the rest of the day relaxing and eating, and enjoying fireworks with friends last night. Tonight, I'll take in a movie in the park by my house. A great way to cap off my weekend. Tomorrow I work at church and then maybe catch a movie with a friend. This is exactly what I needed to recharge my batteries.