Fourteen

I went to a Christian Day School for Kindergarten through 8th grade. I spent those nine years with mostly the same people. This is important to note as I continue with this story. One of the people I spent all nine years with was a boy named Andy. From the very start, Andy & I had what my mom called a "love/hate" relationship. More often than not, we loved to hate each other. But in those rare moments of love Andy started asking me out every semester starting in 4th grade. I finally said "yes" fall of our 8th grade year. Actually, I probably would have said "yes" in 4th grade if my mom hadn't intervened.

I remember that day as a 4th grader clearly. I came home from school and told my mom that Andy had asked me out. She promptly told me I was too young to have a boyfriend and I had to call him and tell him I couldn't go out with him. I was so embarrassed. I still remember sitting on the edge of the bed in my room I shared with my sister. We had a white old fashioned style rotary phone, trimmed in gold. My hands shook as I dialed his phone number. My voice cracked when I told him the news. Then, after I hung up the phone, I started crying. Fast forward four years and by the time we entered 8th grade, hormones were flying everywhere. For some reason when I was passed the note asking me this question one more time, I decided to answer "yes".

Going out in 8th grade doesn't mean much - at least it didn't for us. It meant that we hung out on the playground at recess and called each other on the phone from time to time. But we were going out for both my birthday and Christmas, which as any single person knows - no matter what age, it's nice to be with someone on those special days.

As with most young relationships, ours didn't last long. You can see that things were already starting to go south after Christmas of 1991.

"December 29, 1991: ...Andy is bummed. He told me that even the Lord won't help. It hurts for me to hear him say that. So much in my life is going on it seems Christ is the only help. Andy doesn't see it that way. oh, well...I'll pray for him."

Shortly after, our brief relationship was over. By the end of the year we were able to remain friends. I have always had a place in my heart for people that I've felt I could help in some way. And Andy was no exception that year. At that time in my life, I thought that if we were together I could some how help him through whatever was going on in his life. This is what I wrote later that summer of 1992.

"July 13, 1992: ...Today I sent a letter to Andy, nothing like the last one. This one is more discreet and hopefully will get a response. I want to get with him to have fun and maybe we can go out again. He & I have so much fun together."

All I can say is that I was fourteen years old. Thankfully, I have learned a lot about myself, about men, and about relationships since then. But, we all have to start somewhere.