I love my cheesey smiles!

With Kristen

Christmas in a Stable

Tonight my heart is full. I am sitting all snuggled up under a blanket, warm, and conversation of my family sitting around the living room. Today, was a great day.

My morning started off cold and tired. I had hoped and prayed that all our months of planning and preparation had worked. All my to do items were checked off, our trucks were loaded, and I was following Ryan to the stable for our Christmas Eve services.

It was a harried morning. Last minute changes occurred, but there were no major catastrophes. After about four hours of setting things up, we started to greet friends, families, and visitors alike to our unique venue. As they walked passed the horses in their stalls, families found their seats and prepared to take in the experience.

The service started off with Dave Villiano on violin. Some of the most beautiful music I've heard. Then the band joined him to start off with some familiar Christmas carols and hymns. The singing was balanced with a reading from the book of Luke and a brief Christmas message from Eric.

And then it was over. Wow. How the day flew. We tore down and loaded everything back into the trucks and drove home. My heart is so full...so thankful. God was at work today in every way. From the weather, to the volunteers, to how smooth everything went, to the very people he brought to the services.

We had so many volunteer who gave of their hearts, their time, their talents today to make this happen. I am always amazed at how our church comes together as a family and makes these events something to truly remember. It was an amazing day. Amazing day!

My 30 something mind

Over fried mac and cheese and spinach dip last night, Jenn and I decided that we are too old to fall for young love. Let me explain. It seems that we both know people who are young, in love, and married when the circumstances around them shout out to wait! Like still living with mom and dad because you have no place to live yet. Our 30 something minds say "let's get some things squared away first before we start this life together under our parents roof". But that's the key - our 30 something minds. We would never do something like that now.

At 31 I have learned (I hope) to balance being independent and still needing someone in my life. Even the past couple of days shed light on that. I hate having to make certain decisions by myself, and I can ask others opinions and thoughts, but ultimately, the decision comes down to me. And it just doesn't seem right. Somewhere in my head and heart I feel like there should be someone here to make these decisions with me. Building a life alone can be a tiresome and lonely experience.

I've grown up a lot this past year. I guess in some ways I have had to, much to my dismay. I always thought I'd be the naive one who would fall head over heels for some guy and be swept off my feet. But now I'm the one taking things slow, thinking with my head, and seeking counsel of those older and wiser than me. So not my typical reaction. But I have no choice. Do I want to suffer another heartache like I did this year. No. Do I want to hurt someone unnecessarily? No.

And so, I continue to wait. I continue to put myself out there and experience life the best that I know how. And I trust in the end, God's got it all figured out and this time will some day make sense.

My Work Desk

O.k..so this gives you an idea of what my desk sometimes looks like. Three computers, all with a different function in my work life. Yeah...I love it.

Wonderful Weekend

Despite the sub-freezing temps in WI, my weekend with my sister's family was great. Friday was spent doing some shopping - what else would we ladies do? We enjoyed all our favorite spots and even ate lunch at Chilis. What can I say - we know what we like! But it was during our trip into Walmart that I spotted this sign. This is how people keep warm in Wisconsin during the winter!




















Then Saturday was another flurry of activity with Christmas rehersal for the girls followed by a basketball game for Aimee. All the while, little Abbee was sick. It started during slumber party with Aunt Sarah on Friday night. She was soon over it - a 12-hour bug - and back to her bouncy self before we knew it!

Sunday was spent dealing with Ashlee now sick and trying to make the day fun for the girls. Mom and Dad went to Milwaukee to see a concert, so we took the girls to see a movie. Big treat for them! We saw BOLT. Cute movie. Didn't quite keep the attention of the five year old...but they enjoyed the outing just the same.

It may not have been a very active weekend, lots of normal running around. But we loved every minute of it. I tried to soak in my nieces laughter, hugs, snuggles, and general energy as much as I could. And of course, there were so many moments of laughter with my sister. I will never view the 20Q game the same after our "adult" incident with one at Kohls. I was laughing so hard I had to sit on the ground. I never laugh like I do with her.

My Hot Date...

The other night I met a tall handsome man while walking through a local neighborhood. We hit it off immediately. I look forward to seeing him again soon. But in the mean time, I'll just enjoy our picture!

We Pulled it Off!!!

I can't believe we did it!

Today Mom and I flew into Milwuakee and drove the hour and a half north to surprise my sister. Every year her church does a special Christmas service for the women at the church. Mothers and sisters gather with loved ones for a special dessert and program at the church. Every year my sister sits there with women she may not know, her longing for her family magnified. But this year, Dad decided to send us back to be with her. And we decided to surprise her.

As we drove into the driveway, our excitement peaked. We have been planning for six weeks, and keeping the secret was not easy. But it was worth it. Ted told Melanie to close her eyes and we walked into the kitchen. Mom leaned down and said "Who loves you, babe?" in Mel's ear. Her eyes flew open and she focused on mom. Tears immediately started flowing...from all three of us. Mel was so excited, so overwhelmed. She said it felt like she was dreaming.

The program was so beautiful. A sweet and wonderful reminder of Christ at Christmas. Great dessert. Great conversation. Great music. It was a wonderful evening.

I look forward to the next few days as we enjoy the company of my sister, her husband, and of course, the three little ones! I cannot wait to spoil my nieces and soak in all their smiles and energy.

Man, what a great start to this trip.

refine

One entry found.

Main Entry:

re·fine

Pronunciation:

\ri-ˈfīn\

Function:

verb

Inflected Form(s):

re·fined; re·fin·ing

Date:

1582

transitive verb
1 : to free (as metal, sugar, or oil) from impurities or unwanted material
2 : to free from moral imperfection : elevate
3 : to improve or perfect by pruning or polishing <refine a poetic style>
4 : to reduce in vigor or intensity
5 : to free from what is coarse, vulgar, or uncouth
intransitive verb
1 : to become pure or perfected
2 : to make improvement by introducing subtleties or distinctions

Today I looked up the word "refine". It came to mind and I was curious about the definition. I've thought a lot about how God refines us. I've seen emails going around of the refining process and how that compares to our process spiritually. But I was struck by something when I looked up the definition on Miriam-Websters dictionary online. One word stuck out to me.

"free"

That's it. Free. When something is refined, it is freed from something. I always viewed the refining process as removing something from an object...but this definition seems to imply that it's more of a process of freedom.

My first thoughts on this as I consider my spiritual journey this past year is a yearning for freedom. A freedom from my base nature. A freedom from living my life the way others want me to live. A freedom to be the woman God created me to be. Pure and simple. I want God to continue to refine me. To remove the parts of my life that are ugly and mean. To free me from thoughts that are not of Him. To free me from chains that He did not put on me. To free me from my own insecurities.

The harder I try to do this myself, the further down I slip. The more bound up I get in my own world. But the more I turn to Him as the Refiner, the more freedom I will experience.

What a Weekend!

This past weekend I had the chance to enjoy a couple of really great events. First, was our annual Christmas party for our Arbonne team. What a great group of women and men! We enjoyed wonderful food, great conversation and laughter, and dancing! Our wonderful Mercedes sales man, Rod, was there to join in the celebration...he's like a part of our team! We love Rod.









With Mom & Dad at the Arbonne Party

With Rod, our Mercedes "guy"....






But, the best part of the weekend came on Sunday afternoon. My friend, TC, came into town. He's a KC Chiefs fan, and I, of course am a Broncos fan. So, for my birthday, TC bought us tickets to the game. I LOVE being in Mile High Stadium during Broncos games, especially when you have a 4th quarter like we did on Sunday. Division games are always full of rivalries and so much fun! We had GREAT seats, and the weather was perfect. It was truly a memory I will never forget.










View from our seats...it was amazing!
















Prayer circle after the game...players from both teams...














TC & I

NE Trip Pics

Mom, Dad, & Me

















My Cousin Sheree & Her amazing boy Kaden


















most of the cousins..Kyle, Cory, Brian, Sheree, Hannah, & Me


















yep...the thorn between two roses...Brian with Sheree & I


















my lovely cousin Sheree....



















beautiful baby boy....Carter Bruce. My cousin Molly's little baby!

What we do best...

I just snagged this pic from my new sister-in-law. This is a pic of my Melanie and I at our brother's wedding reception in September. I don't have a clue what we were laughing about...but as sisters, laughing with each other is what we do best.

I am thankful...

It has been a big year for me. I think back to where I was and what I was doing last Thanksgiving. I feel like I've lived a lifetime since then. A year ago I was in a relationship that was not right for me, our church still was in the process of looking for a lead pastor, I was about 30 lbs over weight, my relationship with God was on the back burner. I'm sure I can think of many other things going on in my life this time last year that are now drastically different.

This year, this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for so many things.

I am thankful that God has loved me and brought me through heartache. I am thankful for the time I had to experience the joy before the heartache.

I am thankful that our God brought us a wonderful lead pastor, and that God has sustained our church through two really tough years.

I am thankful that God has provided for me each and every month, and even provided above and beyond my expectations at times.

I am thankful that this Thanksgiving I get to meet my cousin's new little boy - Carter Bruce.

I am thankful for new friendship God has brought my way...and the many, many, continued friendships.

I am thankful for Adrienne, I don't know how I would have gotten through the past six months without her. God has blessed my life through her in so many countless ways.

I am thankful for a better understanding of health and a more disciplined lifestyle.

I am thankful for my parents - what shining examples in so many ways...of love, marriage, parenting, healthy lifestyles, blessing their family in countless ways, 60 years of life...i could go on and on...they are amazing people.

I am thankful for a new sister-in-law and a "little" brother of whom I am so proud.

I am thankful for a sister who is my best friend, her husband who supports her, and my three nieces who make my feel like the proudest Aunt Sarah ever!

While there are still some big struggles in my life, God has shown me this past year that we can get through anything together. I am most thankful for Him and His continued love.

Made my day...

Today I filled my car with gas for $1.89 a gallon...totally made my day!

Chilly day in CO

They say we may have 3-6 inches of snow by the end of the day. It hasn't started snowing yet, but it's cloudy and cooler than it's been in a while. It's Colorado...anything's possible.

But for this cooler day I'm sporting a great new sweatshirt...check it out.



















Thanks to TC from KS for bringing me this sweatshirt this weekend...just in time. You are a wonderful friend!

"Flat Stanley"...weekend in Colorado

Last week my cousin Sheree called me with a simple request. Her son, Kaden, is in a preschool class and now they are learning about the Post Office. Part of their project is to send a paper doll to a relative out of state, via the Post Office, for a vacation.

My part of the project is to take pictures with Flat Stanley through out my weekend to show how he spent his weekend.

We started with a trip to the taxidermist where mom works.

Then Flat Stanley went for a ride on the tractor with dad.

Checking email...

At an Arbonne Holiday Product Open House...
Trying some of the SKY for Men!

Getting ready to take a walk just outside of Boulder...

Check out the rocks behind us!

cheesey faces with Jim at Karaoke...

Flat Stanley jamming with Travis during rehersal...

check out my desk at work.

The Cactus Moon

When I was a senior in high school I went dancing just about every Sunday night at either the Grizzly Rose or the Cactus Moon. For six of those months I went with my then boyfriend, Chris. In March of 1996 Chris broke up with me. I honestly don't remember why, but I do remember one night shortly after we broke up. It was a Sunday night, and not being one to let someone else ruin a good time, I got ready to go dancing like normal. I had heard that a friend's older brother would be there, and I had always had a crush on him. So I mustered up my courage and went out. Later in the fall of 1996, during my freshman English writing class, I chose to write about that night. Here is an excerpt from that story.

ENG 101: 12/13/1996

"The scene inside was the usual. There were men lounging at the bar, a beer in their hand. As I walked by I winked... The horseshoe shaped dance floor provided ample seating along the railing. Every so often you would see puffs of smoke reach for the ceiling.

I tried to find Kevin's table, but it was occupied by a couple I did not know. My heart sank when I realized that he probably was not there. I turned to go. At that moment my favorite song came on. I ran to the floor to join everyone in the dance. Maybe I would stay for a while anyway.

Just as the song was ending I felt a hand on my shoulder that caressed its way down my arm. Before I could object I found myself in the embrace of a strong man. As the grey felt hat appeared before my eyes I knew it was Kevin. He had come after all. I was so excited that I turned right around to make sure it was him. He gave me his award winning smile and kissed my cheek.

The rest of the evening was a whirlwind of dances with Kevin. My feet hurt by the time I had to leave, and I was out of breath. We were finishing a slow dance to a famous love song by Garth Brooks when Kevin politely asked if he could hold me closer and kiss me. My heart raced at the feel of his lips against mine. Nothing could ruin this night now.

We turned to leave the dance floor and my eyes caught the stare of my ex-boyfriend, Chris. Kevin and I walked right past him as if he were just another cowboy. But as we did Kevin put his arm around me and kissed me. I felt the burning stare of Chris blazing into my back. I could have died right then and died a happy woman."

So there you have it. That was a good night. The kind of story you only read about or see in movies...but it is one that I'll always have tucked away in my memory.

Fourteen

I went to a Christian Day School for Kindergarten through 8th grade. I spent those nine years with mostly the same people. This is important to note as I continue with this story. One of the people I spent all nine years with was a boy named Andy. From the very start, Andy & I had what my mom called a "love/hate" relationship. More often than not, we loved to hate each other. But in those rare moments of love Andy started asking me out every semester starting in 4th grade. I finally said "yes" fall of our 8th grade year. Actually, I probably would have said "yes" in 4th grade if my mom hadn't intervened.

I remember that day as a 4th grader clearly. I came home from school and told my mom that Andy had asked me out. She promptly told me I was too young to have a boyfriend and I had to call him and tell him I couldn't go out with him. I was so embarrassed. I still remember sitting on the edge of the bed in my room I shared with my sister. We had a white old fashioned style rotary phone, trimmed in gold. My hands shook as I dialed his phone number. My voice cracked when I told him the news. Then, after I hung up the phone, I started crying. Fast forward four years and by the time we entered 8th grade, hormones were flying everywhere. For some reason when I was passed the note asking me this question one more time, I decided to answer "yes".

Going out in 8th grade doesn't mean much - at least it didn't for us. It meant that we hung out on the playground at recess and called each other on the phone from time to time. But we were going out for both my birthday and Christmas, which as any single person knows - no matter what age, it's nice to be with someone on those special days.

As with most young relationships, ours didn't last long. You can see that things were already starting to go south after Christmas of 1991.

"December 29, 1991: ...Andy is bummed. He told me that even the Lord won't help. It hurts for me to hear him say that. So much in my life is going on it seems Christ is the only help. Andy doesn't see it that way. oh, well...I'll pray for him."

Shortly after, our brief relationship was over. By the end of the year we were able to remain friends. I have always had a place in my heart for people that I've felt I could help in some way. And Andy was no exception that year. At that time in my life, I thought that if we were together I could some how help him through whatever was going on in his life. This is what I wrote later that summer of 1992.

"July 13, 1992: ...Today I sent a letter to Andy, nothing like the last one. This one is more discreet and hopefully will get a response. I want to get with him to have fun and maybe we can go out again. He & I have so much fun together."

All I can say is that I was fourteen years old. Thankfully, I have learned a lot about myself, about men, and about relationships since then. But, we all have to start somewhere.

What was I thinking???

Last week in an email I included two little excerpts from my diary when I was eleven years old. They talked about how tough life was at eleven years old and I wanted to make sure that if anyone ever read those pages again, that message was clearly communicated. These lines from 19 years ago brought a smile to my face. The response to this email was a request to see my thoughts at age 25. While I'm sure this was more a response than a request, it got me thinking.

I have been writing thoughts and prayers and ideas in a journal since I was about 9 years old. I have always loved it. Now, with the world of blogging, often my thoughts end up here, rather than on real paper. So, last night I sat down once again as I have so many times before, on my apartment floor, surrounded by my journals of all sizes and colors. These pages contain my innermost thoughts for the past 19 years. I started pouring over one of the journals from about five years ago. I was fascinated by a couple of things.

First, I have come a long way in my life. God has been good to me and faithful in bringing me through so many obstacles and fears and challenges. It was encouraging to see some of the areas I use to struggle with, I don't as often any more.

Secondly, I have been praying for some of the same things a really long time. There were common themes throughout this journal, that I'm sure I would find in my current journal, or journals from previous years. I guess that's a good thing. I keep coming before God with all my requests.

So what? Well, I was armed with a green highlighter last night. I started marking phrases, lines, and even whole entries that grabbed me. Some thing that shows where I was and what I was thinking at those times of my life. What were my thoughts on relationships, my job, my family, my roommates (when I had some), and so many other things. Over the next couple of weeks, I will be sharing excerpts from my journals. I think it will be a good exercise for me to go back and see just how far I've come. And I hope in sharing my struggles and victories, others will be encouraged that we are all living our lives the best way we know how.

My Crazy - Scary Dream

I awoke just before 6am this morning with the most horrible image still in my mind. I had a bad dream, and I couldn't go back to sleep. I tried turning over, I tried shaking my head, I tried convincing myself I had an hour and a half still to sleep and I just needed to get over it. But the most awful feeling invaded every part of me until I could no longer take it. I got up and pulled out my laptop and started working on the program shell for church on Sunday. Something to keep my mind off of the craziest dream.

There were elements to this dream that came from a movie I watched on Saturday night. In the movie Max Payne there is an elixir that is used and causes hallucinations and ultimately causes people to kill themselves...or some how be killed. This element was in my dream. Only the person giving me the elixir was my mom.

In my dream I was 30 years old, as I am now, but back in my childhood bedroom in my parents basement. I had somehow become aware of people taking this elixir and ultimately dying. My mom came to my door and said she had something for me. She tossed me this tube that looked like lip gloss. But when I held it up I realized it was this elixir. My mom came to my bed side and told me I had to drink this elixir...that it would help my migraines. I pleaded with her to not make me take it. I knew it would kill me. She said, o.k....until tomorrow. I pleaded again and again to not have to take this elixir. She wouldn't listen to me. I got up and began shaking her shoulders, pleading the whole time. Then, frustrated, I threw her up against the closet doors and she dropped like a rag doll. I walked from my room to find my sister standing there asking what was going on. I told her what happened and how I think I may have killed our mom.

This is when I woke up. When I told my mom about my dream today, she didn't want me to blog about it at first. While we both know it's only a dream, it's a horrible feeling...and I know my mom would never do anything to hurt me...and I certainly wouldn't try to kill her. But this dream has shook me to my core, and has plagued me all morning long. A friend told me his only advice was to pray...and that's what I've been doing. Praying that this feeling, and these thought don't haunt me into my bed again tonight.

Don't know what to say...

Usually thoughts and ideas are easy for me. Normally I can talk or write on just about anything, and just about any time. But not tonight. I feel like there is something inside that I need to get out...but I don't know what to say. I strangely feel mute. So many things are swirling around me - around my head. I feel like I'm about to explode, but I can't seem to figure out where to start. It's almost as if someone put a gag on my brain, and while I really want to express something, I am being held back. Maybe it's just overload from my day. Maybe it's distraction from the TV in the background. Maybe it's competing thoughts about what just studied in my Bible and the battle over whether or not I should go to the gym before I meet Jenn. Or maybe, it's just my idea that I should have something to share, when really, there's nothing that needs to be shared. Whatever it is, I hope this feeling passes soon.

My Red Boots

Today I brought them down. Sitting so pretty on the top shelf of my closet for almost six months, my Red Boots called my name this morning. I grew up wearing cowboy boots, but they were rarely for fashion. They were practical boots that could be worn anytime for anything. But these boots are different. They are your classic cowboy boot style, and they are red.

I bought these boots earlier this year for one of the "Great Dates of '08". They were worn to a Tracy Lawrence concert at the Rose in May. After that night, they sat in my closet, waiting to be taken out again. I haven't been dancing since then, and with summer showing up shortly after the concert, I immediately switched to sandals. But today it was below freezing when I woke up, so I thought it was a good day to pull out the Red Boots once again. And I'm glad that I did.

What are your dreams?

"We cannot achieve our wildest dreams by remaining who we are." John C. Maxwell

This quote literally fell on my desk a few weeks ago. In the mail I received an invitation to host a simulcast for a leadership conference next spring. This quote was in bold letters on the flier. It caught my attention immediately. I've been thinking quite a bit about dreams lately. And my life. And where the two intersect - if they do at all right now.

I wasn't raised to have big dreams. My family is amazing and the biggest supporters of my life. But there was always a strong sense of reality in our family. A strong concept of work hard, live a good life, and don't rock the boat. So when I wanted to perform on Broadway, the reality of where we lived and our lack of resources to put toward that life overshadowed my dream of dancing in A Chorus Line. I quickly accepted that dance would have to be a part of my life in other ways, and have enjoyed dancing and performing at the extreme local level most of my life.

But there are other dreams that I have and would love to see come true. And I think sometimes it's easy, at least for me, to fall back on the idea that I have good life and the concept of "don't fix what isn't broken." But what if it's broken and you don't know it? What if the idea of settling for a good life, rather than going after your dreams and leading a great life is a broken concept for me?

Then how does this idea of what Maxwell says come into play? If I remain who I am, what dreams will I be giving up? What kind of life will I be settling for? If what he says is really true, then one could suggest that unless I am truly willing to welcome change into my life and to who I am, these dreams will never come true.

That's a scary concept. But not as scary as the idea of not seeing some of my dreams come true. I have dreams to be married and share my life with someone, so see the world, to be present for the big days in the life of each of my nieces, to own a home where I can raise a family, to share my life and the experiences and lessons I've learned in a published format. These are just a few. And honestly, I'm not sure how many of them could be achieved unless I am willing to step way out of my comfort zone, shed the ideas of who I am based on what others think and my past, and blaze a new future. All the way trusting that the God who put these dreams and desires within my spirit will provide me with everything necessary to see them come to fruition.

Tacos in Tecate

One of the highlights of our trip to Mexico this weekend came Saturday night. We had Brandon & Nate, two Americans who work on the ranch, take us into Tecate for tacos. I have heard how amazing these tacos are from a friend who was a house mom for 5 months at the ranch last year. But I had no idea what to expect. We pulled up to the taco stand and found our spot. I ordered three tacos on flour tortillas with everything. The meat is cooked fresh on a coal burning grill right there. The flour tortillas are cooked as they are needed. There was a woman in the back taking the mixture, making the tortillas, and cooking them and then bringing them to the front where they assembled the tacos. The tortillas were filled with chopped carne asada, onions, guacamole and salsa, and wrapped in paper. And of course, you cannot go to Mexico without getting a cold Coca-Cola in the bottle. I sat down and took my first bite. Amazing! So fresh, so full of flavor. I quickly consumed my three tacos and Coke and sat back to watch everyone else.

Our group took up nearly the entire seating area of this small outdoor patio stand. But there were others enjoying their Saturday night tacos as well. Families, laughing and greeting friends as they walked into the patio. Then, a father and three children walked in. They were dressed with sharp black pants and vests and crisp white shirts. The father played the guitar, the two boys drummed, and the little girl played her tambourine. They sang two songs, dancing as they entertained us. I wanted to get up and dance with them! Then after they finished, the little ones came around looking for tips. It was such a treat! They moved on after they made their rounds and everyone returned to their conversations.

Once we were sufficiently full of tacos, we climbed back into our vehicles and headed back. Brandon saw a churro cart on the corner and pulled over. We all climbed out of our vehicles and walked to the corner. The elderly gentleman greeted us with a smile. His wife said hello to our group. We all ordered a bag of churros - about 15 churros for $1.50. He used a hand crank to squeeze the dough into the oil. Once fried, he scooped them out and put them in a bowl. Now it was his wife's turn. She covered them in sugar and cinnamon and put them in the bags. I bought two bags (one for me and one for Adrienne) and took my first bite. It could quite possibly be the best thing my lips have ever touched. Sweet, crispy, hot, fresh, delicious. We hung out on the corner as we all enjoyed our churros. The night life in Tecate was starting to come to out. A sports bar around the corner opened and music spilled onto the street. Cars cruised by, their owners honking and calling out greetings to those standing on the sidewalks. Family after family stopped to pick up their own bag of churros.

The reality of our two long days of work caught up with us and we all crawled back into our vehicles and headed back to the ranch. But a new tradition was started that night.

Swinging a Hammer

The group...














Last night I arrived home from a whirlwind trip to Rancho de sus Ninos. This orphanage, affectionatly called simply "the ranch" is just off the highway between Tijuana & Tecate, Mexico. Over the past four years, since I first visited the ranch on a mission trip with high schoolers, this orphanage has found a place in my heart. I have been back a handful of times. Each time, I feel like a part of me has returned home. It is a unique place. I have written about this orphanage before - after our trip this summer. This time was different.

For the first time in the 21 year history, the orphanage has the supplies and money for a project before the groups arrive. They have been given a very generous donation to finish building the new day care buildings needed before their lease is up in just about a year on their current location. So a group from our church headed down late Thursday night and spent the past couple of days hammering on a new roof and hoisting beams for support for covered porches.

Friday we unloaded 45 trusses and carried them into the building, flipped them upright, and nailed them in place. Crazy heavy work. Then Saturday in to Sunday morning we layed plywood sheeting on top and hammered them into the trusses. This is a long and grueling process. My knees are sore and bruised from kneeling on the sheeting while nailing it down into the trusses.

yep - those trusses weren't there before we got there...














Mark & I nailing blocks in place between the trusses...














Me - on the roof...tool belt and all














CJ, McKenna, and me...it was a moment of downtime...what can i say???


















When we weren't working, we enjoyed eating with the kids on the ranch. I sponsor two sister in House 4. It is always a joy to see them, and love on them. Alejandra is alway ready with a smile, hug, and "Hi, Sarah!" Yaqueline is more shy at first, but warms quickly. She speaks more English and we are able to chat a bit by lunch on Sunday.

We headed back across the border on Sunday afternoon. Of course, no trip to the orhpanage would be complete with out a stop at In-N-Out Burger on our way back to the airport. We checked in for our flight with two hours to wait. I found myself sitting at a bar, sipping a rum and coke and chatting with some of the guys about the trip while we watched the last game of the ALCS and Sunday night NFL.

Our flight home was smooth and uneventful. I crawled into bed early this morning and fell asleep without any trouble.

This trip was something that I look forward to doing again soon. The building we worked on will one day house kids who would other wise be locked up in their house or left wandering the streets while their parents work 16 hours a day in the factories. It provides them with two meals a day and loving women to care for them. What a great day it will be when they can open these doors to even more kids who need to hear that God loves them.

Where's the nearest beach?

After today, I'm seriously considering a trip to a foreign beach. Somewhere my cell phone and computer won't work. No texts, no emails, no online options whatsoever. Just me, and God, figuring out what is going on and getting back on track.

This morning I woke up with a migraine. About 5:30am I found myself in the bathroom, throwing up. That's how I know it's a bad one. I took some Advil and drank some water and went back to bed. Finally, I started feeling better and decided to go into work. It was a busy and prodcutive morning.

At lunch I drove over to Wendy's to get some chili. A great choice for our cooler day today. As I pulled around to the window, I could tell something was not right with my car. One of my tires was flat. I grabbed my food and pulled into a parking spot. Sure enough, I had a flat...actually, one of my tires was so worn, it split. Tomorrow my car is scheudled to get four brand new tires. I called Ryan, one of the guys I work with, to come and put my spare on. He did and I went across the street to put more air in the tire. By the time I got there, the already low spare had come off the rim. I just sighed, called the towing company and had them take my car to the shop today.

I finished out my day and hopped into the "Green Van". Our church owns a 1987 Ford Conversion van. We call it the "Love Van" or "Cheech". This is my ride home. The foam lining is coming off the ceiling, the metal a-frame signs we put out on Sundays sliding every time I turn a corner. I pulled into the liquor store just around the corner from my apartment. For some reason, after my day, I just want a cold Coors. I find my selection and take it to the counter. The sweet lady asks for my ID and tells me I look young. Thanks, I say. You must be happy, she tells me. Happy people look young.

Well don't that beat all?! I just smiled, thanked her, and laughed once I got back in the van. Right now I'm in my pajamas, a cold beer sitting close by, getting ready to finish the program for Sunday morning. I know this is just one of those days we all have. And I know that God got me through it and will help make tomorrow a better day. Even when I don't realize it or feel it, He is with me in day like this.

What I witnessed tonight

At high school group tonight, there was only one girl who came in my group - so we decided to go to Starbucks and catch up. We were enjoying our drinks - her a hot green tea - me a delightful Carmel Apple Spice. Our seats outside were the perfect spot for people watching. At night, you can see perfectly into the coffee shop...and the Kinkos next door. We sipped and chatted for a few minutes when this student paused as she looked into the conference room at Kinkos.

"I think this guy is getting fired," she said. I turned my attention to the conference room inside the Kinkos. Sure enough, there was one man sitting behind a desk, leaning forward, looking down at the sheet of paper. His face was intense, you could tell he was talking loudly and his hand came down on the desk as he made his points.

Contrasting this man is a man sitting on the other side of the desk in a Kinkos shirt. He was sitting back in his chair with his hand over his mouth and at times covering more of his face and his eyes. Sure enough, he was being talked to, and it didn't look good.

But just when we thought we had it figured out, the most interesting thing happened. These men both leaned forward, folded their hands, and began praying. I immediatley shot forward in my seat to get a clearer view of the first man. Sure enough, they were both praying. After their prayer, they stood up, Bibles in hand, and walked out the door.

So now, I have no idea what they were talking about. But my curiousity is peaked and I'm replaying all kinds of options in my head. I don't know what I witnessed tonight, but it was the most peculiar event I've seen in quite some time.

Something to Chew On

Today we received an invitation to host a simulcast for a leadership event next spring. On the flier was this quote. I'm pondering this today and will write more soon...

"We cannot achieve our wildest dreams by remaining who we are."
John Maxwell

If you are looking to laugh

Last night I enjoyed the company of a very good friend for a movie and dinner. At 5:50pm Adrienne and I found ourselves sitting down to the opening previews for our movie, Ghost Town. I wasn't sure what to expect. All the reviews I had heard and read said it was funny. But I don't always agree with movie critics. In the mood for a light-hearted good time, I settled in as the lights dimmed.

I was not disappointed. The premise, as described in the previews, is that Dr. Pincus, DDS, dies and is brought back to life during a routine procedure. When he comes back, he can see ghosts still haunting Manhattan. The chaos and story that unfolds from that point kept me laughing throughout the entire movie. There were tender moments that helped develop the story, and the humor was both smart and silly. While I enjoyed the antics and laughed a lot, there was a sweet message throughout the movie as well.

Take your friends, your spouse or S.O. and enjoy some laughs and a fun story.

Recovered

I'm sitting on my couch, listening to music on myspace and watching the Broncos play. I feel like I have recovered from my long weekend in PA. It was amazing to me how much energy was drained during Cody's wedding. I guess it was much more emotional that I had anticipated.

I am loving that fall is upon us. This is the time of year when I pull out the Harvest candle from Yankee, snuggle under blankets with cold air coming in the windows, and begin thinking about all the yummy crock-pot meals I've been craving. I know many people look to the spring for a fresh start and renewal, but this year, I look to this fall to provide a new spirit within.

This week I start up another Beth Moore Bible Study...and oh, how I need it. My time with God has not been what I want it to be lately. I think that I let my busy schedule, and dealing with my own feelings distract me from the source of my strength and energy. I am praying that God renews my heart and mind in new ways...ways only He can. My heart is healed. God has been faithful. I truly feel like after all the struggles professionally, relationally, emotionally, and physically the past year, God's provision, faithfulness, and guidance have been what has pulled me through.

God is Good, All the Time
All the Time, God is Good

Back Home...

Our trip home from PA is one that I will remember. It was another 16 hour or better day to get back to my own bed. After a 3 hour drive to Baltimore, we found ourselves on the plane to Memphis. We actually landed ahead of schedule, which was good as we only had 30 minutes before our next flight left. We made a quick stop to pick up a deli sandwich and boarded our small plane.

This plane reminded me of the puddle jumper I took from Chicago to Milwaukee. Thirteen rows long, four seats wide, and one flight attendant, Judy. We took off and I waited patiently for the announcement that it was safe to use our approved electronic devices (aka my ipod). But the announcement didn't come. Then we heard a loud "thunk". The pilot came on saying that they had problems with our gears and that they now have them in the lock-down position and we will be landing again in Memphis in 5 minutes. People start getting upset and complaining - as if there is anything we can do about this situation.

Once back on the ground we are told that they will have to try to find us another plane, which they were able to do. So after waiting for an hour and a half, we are once again airborn and heading for Denver. I'm sure I fell asleep during the two and a half hour flight home. We landed, and found the shuttle to our car. As we went to pay for our car, we were told our reservations were for another lot. Frustrated and to exhausted to fight with them, we paid the money and went home. I fell into bed about 2am Wednesday morning.

It's good to be back home. My apartment is a mess, and I have lots of laundry to do. But at least I'm home, and I'll have lots of time tonight to get things caught up.

One More Day

I think all the late nights and early mornings finally caught up with me. Knowing I didn't have to get up early, and we had no major plans today, I slept in this morning. The sound of family coming into the house and getting breakfast going finally got me out of bed.

After running some errands around the big town of Altoona we decided to head over the mountain to the crash site of Flight 93. I have been to ground zero and was curious how this would compare. Obviously it doesn't receive the coverage that NYC does, but it was a great trip non the less.

We pulled into the parking lot for the temporary memorial site and found a spot. It was just at 5:30 and the sun was just about ready to set. There were others at the memorial as well. Right now the memorial is a small fenced in area with a shelter containing books showing pictures and dialouge of what happened that day. Outside there is a wall made of wood and chain link fencing where people have left t-shirts, hats, liscence plates, toy box cars, and all sorts of other memorabilia to honor these people. Around the fecncing were lots of stone monuments that reminded me of headstones. In the far corner flew the American flag next to a rugged cross. Down the center of the memorial sat benches. On each plank of the back of the bench was a name of someone who was on Flight 93. We sat for a few minutes on these benches. All was silent. The sun was low in the sky, peaking out behind a few clouds. The breeze blew, snapping the flags overhead. Birds flew overhead, calling. It was a reminder to me that this is the middle of a field. Off to the left is the farm house and buildings. I'm sure their world has changed since that day in 2001.

We started our trip back home. All six of us squeezed into the pickup. The colors are really starting to change and the view out the windows was amazing. Such brilliant reds and oranges.

Now we are back at Cody's. We're all checked in for our flight home tomrrow, directions back to Baltimore are written down, and we are settling in for what will hopefully be a great Monday Night Football game between the Steeler and the Ravens. The trip is coming to a close. It has been a great weekend full of family and fun, moments and memories to last a lifetime. I don't want to leave, but I am ready to go home.

Gettysburg

Well, with the wedding behind us we decided to become tourists. Cody & Casie needed and wanted a little time to themselves, so the families took off for Gettysburg this morning after breakfast.

The trip took us through some beautiful mountains. The color on the trees has turned even more since we arrived just a few short days ago. And after getting slightly turned around in Gettysburg (who knew the Visitor Center was different than the Military Visitor Center?) we found ourselves, tickets in hand, for a new film about Gettysburg. This is the grand opening weekend for the new visitor center and museum. They have a new film called The New Birth of Freedom playing at the museum. Narrated by Morgan Freeman, this film captures the events leading up to the Battle at Gettysburg and the significance of this battle in about 20 minutes. I learned so much! If only you could see something like this in High School American History class. It talked about the financial and political risks taken by Lincoln and the Union to fight for the freedom of slaves. Truly remarkable.

After the film we headed out of the visitor center with our newly purchased guide book and started following the signs for the Auto Tour. This tour, accompanied by our CD's took us to fifteen different significant sights on the 24 mile trip around the battle field. It really was such a wonderful experience. The roads created for the tour take you mainly along the battle lines between the Confederate troops and Union troops. You can look to your left and right and see monuments built to honor all the infantries and brigades from each state engaged in the battle. It helped you get a sense of how many men from as far south as Florida and as far west as Minnesota were involved in this war. I'm not sure I can put into words what it was like to stand in the same place as these men who fought so fiercely for what they believed. In many ways these fields have not changed significantly since those July days in 1863. Yet, as we drove, we wove in and out of the town. It made you realize that this battle didn't take place somewhere outside in a field...but literally right in someones back yard. In fact there is a museum in town that was once a house and the site of the only woman who died during this battle. She was killed by a stray bullet while baking bread.

After our three-hour auto tour we were hungry and ready for a bite. We found a cute little Italian place and enjoyed a lovely meal of Stromboli, manacotti, and lasagna. Sufficiently full, we headed home.

I am looking forward to a great night of watching What Not To Wear, blogging, catching up on emails, and enjoying the peace in this house for one more night. Tomorrow, we are going to visit the crash site of Flight 93 in Shanksville and then maybe head toward Hershey, PA and see if we can find some Amish shops along the way. It should be another great day as tourists!

Just Look at You Girl

Today my little brother married the love of his life, Casie Marie. When I first met Casie a few years ago I could tell that this one was different. The way Cody looked at her and talked about her, I knew. They were engaged last summer, and after some very difficult living and work situations, they have landed on a great ranch in PA, where today they were married.

The morning passed in a flurry of activity. The girls got their hair done in town, the log cabin had to be decorated for the dinner and reception, the cake and caterer came bearing their goods. Before we knew it 3pm was upon us and a small group of family and friends gathered in the barn as the soundtrack to Lonesome Dove played in the background. It was a simple and beautiful wedding. I had tears before the ceremony began. I had tears during the ceremony. And I even had a few tears later at the dance. To see my nieces all dressed up - looking so beautiful! And to see the look on my little brother's face as he saw his bride for the first time in her wedding dress. Moments like that just don't come along twice.

Amidst all the picture taking, guests began enjoying food and conversation. The group was intimate and most everyone knew everyone else. There was much laughter as we enjoyed our roast beef and ham with all the sides. It felt more like a family reunion than a wedding reception.

As the evening progressed we began to dance. Cody & Casie started us off with their wedding dance to Chris Ledoux's Just Look At You Girl. I couldn't help but tear up again. My little brother...my Cody...married. It just doesn't seem real. To see him hold Casie, to whisper in her ear, to show affection the way only a man truly in love can for the woman he loves. It was amazing. To see the gentle heart he likes people to think doesn't exist...but we all secretly know is there. It was a moment I'll treasure.

As was the time I spent on the couch with Abbee. I was walking by the darkened room when I saw my niece laying on the couch. She was all alone looking down. I went over and asked if I could sit with her. As we lay on the couch together she curled up next to me, her head on my chest and her hands in mine. I leaned down to kiss her head. She looked up at me and said, "I love you Aunt Sarah." Wow. Precious. Just the two of us, sharing a moment, curled up on the couch together. Another sweet moment while activity and music was all around us.

Moments like this happened all night. Seeing my mom and brother dance to Elvis. Having my dad ask me to dance with him to Alabama. Watching my brother-in-law dance with his oldest. Having conversations with new people and those I've know for a while now. Just a night full of moments and memories that will forever be remembered.

The First Day

So, I started earlier wanting to write about the day...but realized I couldn't really do that until the end of the day. Now I'm tucked away in a bedroom at Cody's house in PA. It has been a wonderful first day here for the wedding.

The weather in PA this weekend is cool, foggy, and drizzle. Not what Casie had wanted for a wedding in a field. But there is a back up plan. And you can't really complain about this weather.

The ranch is tucked away in a valley. The leaves are just starting to turn shades of purple, brilliant red, and soft yellow. It is so peaceful here. Rolling hills and open fields boxed in by trees as far as you can see.

Since the weather isn't ideal, we will have the wedding in a barn. Still very cool. Today we set out hay bales for benches and a horse drawn cart flanked by bales with lights strewn on them. Then the ladies put together a couple of flower arrangements using boots for vases. Yes, this is a very casual and very country wedding. And it seems so fitting for Cody & Casie.

Tonight dinner was up at the big house. Or maybe I should say the big log cabin. The people who own this ranch where Cody & Casie live have just finished a log cabin up the hill that over looks the valley. It has enough double beds to sleep 36 people comfortably. So all the family and friends in from out of town have a place to stay right here on the ranch.

As I sat tonight enjoying our delicious steak dinner, I looked around. I have only just met some of these people, yet felt like I was among family. The house smelled of good food, and conversation and laughter were all around. I watched the face of my oldest niece as she talked with one of the other kids. Her eyes danced as she listened to the story he told. All three nieces have made quick friends with the other kids as they rode 4-wheelers and played Wii all day long.

Then tonight, before heading back down to the house I'm staying in, I snuggled with my dad. Yes, I'm 30 years old...and yes, I just admitted I snuggled with my dad. I leaned my head on his shoulder and curled up next to him. Our arms and hands intertwined, I listened to his breathing and the conversations around me. I don't get many chances to just be like that. Savoring the time with family all a flury around me. It was a precious moment.

Tomorrow will pass too quickly, I'm sure. We'll be up, getting hair done, putting finishing touches on the cabin for the reception, getting everyone dressed and ready for the wedding. But I look forward to being here tomorrow night, writing and sharing about the day my little brother gets married. There may be a few tears on the keyboard, but that's never stopped me before.

Baggage Claim...

Yesterday we traveled for 16 hours before we landed on the doorstep of Cody & Casie's house. Our flight from Denver to Minneapolis was uneventful - and early. We left DIA at 6am. But the ride from Minneapolis to Baltimore was a bit more stormy. In fact the landing was very rough. I normally don't mind turbulence, but this was longer than I anticipated and I was just ready to land.

Casie's brother was traveling with us, but on a different flight. While he landed within minutes of our flight, it took nearly an hour for his bag to show up. While we waited, I took advantage of the time to check out people in the airport. You get to see all kinds when you travel. I miss not being able to see people say good-bye and hello like you used to...but baggage claim can prove to be a riot!

While I waited for Eric (Casie's brother) I had lots of time to see all the other people. I decided that the creators of TLC's What Not To Wear need to just camp out in the airports and ambush people for makeovers.

There was the lady who was obviously in town to visit her grandkids. They came running up to give her a hug. Her daughter was casually dressed in jeans and t-shirt. Grandma was dressed in a short skirt, heels, and a sassy zebra print purse. The outfit really wasn't all that bad...it was just that Grandma should not have been wearing it. But it was so great to see everyone greet each other with hugs and kisses. I love that!

Lots of business people on Eric's flight. And a group from Australia...looked similar to what we would call Girl Scouts here. But then, I saw the best one of the day. I was amazed by this man. I watched him to the point where I'm sure people thought I was staring. I just couldn't get past what I saw.

He came walking into the baggage claim area like he owned the place. His off the shoulder ivory sweater first caught my attention. It was from the 1980's and had large, bold squares and circles on it. And he carried a quilted sun and moon tote. It looked like he grabbed something from his grandmother's closet. When I tried to explain this to my family they asked if he was a cross-dresser. No, it wasn't that kind of dressing like a woman. It was as if he didn't realize the outfit was made for a woman. But man - I applaud his confidence as he walked through the airport.

I could go on and on. And everyone knows I'm not a fasion expert. But I'd like to think I can put together and outfit and wear it well. I dress for the occasion and like to look presentable even when I'm running errands.

But this kind of stuff facinates me! I love to see what others wear, how they interact with people, what they do when they have to wait for luggage.

So next time you are in an airport, don't rush to get your bags. Take some time to enjoy the people around you. It takes all of us to make this world work...so enjoy it!

The Reason I Smile Today

Right now I'm sitting pool side, enjoying a slight breeze and the setting Colorado sun. Not quite the perfect Colorado day that yesterday was, but still a banner fall day. I've had a little bit of time for the events of my morning to sink in. I was blindsighted and surprised by my church today.

My morning started off like any other Sunday morning. In typical fashion, I remembered at the last minute that I had forgotten to print something off for the program, so I scrambled to get it ready. Eric mentioned that he needed me in on the service to get my feedback. I assumed he needed my to give him feedback on the music. Well, once the music was just about over, I headed out of the auditorium to grab my notebook. Ryan came after me telling me he needed me in the service to make sure Eric announced the postponement of our women's retreat right. So I followed him back into the service. Now, can anyone else tell I'm being set up for something? Well, I couldn't. I swear - I'm so dense sometimes.

So after the music Eric walks on stage with a pink feather boa around his neck. He makes a comment about that and told everyone to watch the screen. The auditorium goes black and Abba's Dancing Queen starts playing and a slide show of pictures of me flash on the screen. I have no idea what is going on or why they would be doing this. After the slide show he calls Mary Hoff and me up on the stage. Mary tells everyone it is "Sarah Appreciation Day" and they had some wonderful gift baskets for me. Are you kidding me? I was speechless.

The biggest surprise is how they did this without me having a clue! They grabbed the pictures of me and put together some great gifts! To top everything off, they gave me an authentic #80 Rod Smith Broncos jersey. I had tears welling up in my eyes!

I love my job. I love my church. And after the trials of the past two years there are thoughts from time to time of closing this chapter in my life. But when something like this happens, it reminds me how loved I am and why I'm here. It's not for the paycheck, it's not for the gifts, it's for the people. But I will admit, it is nice to be recognized and appreciated like this once in a while.

Thank you to everyone who helped with the surprise. I know I'm loved...and I love you all!

I Can't Help Myself...

This is one of those days that I'm just having fun...I'm looking through old pictures, old journals, and enjoying it so much! It's great to see how far God has brought me and remind me of who I am and the things I want to see in my life...which brings me to this list. In March I started a list of 101 things I want to do before I die. Some of them are simple things that I would just love to do. Others will require more time, energy, and resources to see completed - but I'm so excited to find this list. It's a work in progress...but here's a sneak peak of what's on the list.

visit Italy
take Salsa dance lessons
visit all 50 states by 50 years old
learn to play the drums
see the Northern Lights
own a home
visit Germany
fluent in Spanish
season tickets to the Broncos
season tickets to the Denver Center for Performing Arts (DCPA)
attend an Olympics
go on tour with a band
travel around the globe once
take a Grecian cruise
watch a Broncos home game from the Sky Box
get published
fall driving tour of New England
wine tour through Italy
vacation in Napa Valley
complete the Old Chicago beer tour

Random smiles...

I just can't help myself. I am backing up pictures and archiving old ones. In the process, I found some that just make me smile! They are in no particular order - and the only thing they have in common is they are random pictures that bring a memory to mind and a smile to my face.

With my sister (Melanie) and brother (Cody)...Cody decides to show us his "best" side.

Random snow man as we were walking by...he looked like he needed a hug.

Inflated blue gorilla...do I really have to say anything?

All the girls dressed up for our last night in Vegas. Notice I'm the only one in red???

The night in Orlando with Germaine...I mean Stacy from Oklahoma! (wink)