My Crazy - Scary Dream

I awoke just before 6am this morning with the most horrible image still in my mind. I had a bad dream, and I couldn't go back to sleep. I tried turning over, I tried shaking my head, I tried convincing myself I had an hour and a half still to sleep and I just needed to get over it. But the most awful feeling invaded every part of me until I could no longer take it. I got up and pulled out my laptop and started working on the program shell for church on Sunday. Something to keep my mind off of the craziest dream.

There were elements to this dream that came from a movie I watched on Saturday night. In the movie Max Payne there is an elixir that is used and causes hallucinations and ultimately causes people to kill themselves...or some how be killed. This element was in my dream. Only the person giving me the elixir was my mom.

In my dream I was 30 years old, as I am now, but back in my childhood bedroom in my parents basement. I had somehow become aware of people taking this elixir and ultimately dying. My mom came to my door and said she had something for me. She tossed me this tube that looked like lip gloss. But when I held it up I realized it was this elixir. My mom came to my bed side and told me I had to drink this elixir...that it would help my migraines. I pleaded with her to not make me take it. I knew it would kill me. She said, o.k....until tomorrow. I pleaded again and again to not have to take this elixir. She wouldn't listen to me. I got up and began shaking her shoulders, pleading the whole time. Then, frustrated, I threw her up against the closet doors and she dropped like a rag doll. I walked from my room to find my sister standing there asking what was going on. I told her what happened and how I think I may have killed our mom.

This is when I woke up. When I told my mom about my dream today, she didn't want me to blog about it at first. While we both know it's only a dream, it's a horrible feeling...and I know my mom would never do anything to hurt me...and I certainly wouldn't try to kill her. But this dream has shook me to my core, and has plagued me all morning long. A friend told me his only advice was to pray...and that's what I've been doing. Praying that this feeling, and these thought don't haunt me into my bed again tonight.